I bet Matthias has little habits that are identical to Martin. Closing cupboard doors with his feet. Squinting his left eye when he’s thinking to hard. Piling sweets onto his shield and carrying it all off to particular spots where only Cornflower can find him. Little things.
Badgers hanging out in the afterlife;
- Cregga: Four otters couldn't lift my axe-pike.
- Urthstripe: My spear was twice the size of my biggest hare.
- Orlando: My axe could cleave through rocks.
- Constance: *Picking a stray cloak from her teeth and using it to wipe the mangled fur and bones off her claws* You guys are really adorable, you know that?
This line makes me laugh every time without fail.
The Redwall fandom should start making Constance Chuck-Norris jokes;
"Constance wears Asmodeus’s big brother as her habit girdle"
"Constance has a wolf-skin rug in her room. The Wolf isn’t dead it’s just afraid to move."
A Scene From My Day
So I’m in line at a store and the woman behind me asks about my Redwall t-shirt: “Redwall Abbey? Does that have anything to do with Game of Thrones?”
And I’m like, lady, if you only knew…
Did Cap’n Clogg get picked on in his youth for having such a (by vermin standards) weird middle name as “Josiah”? Or what about poor Fortunata? Having a human name among members of a species who go by names like Stinky must be difficult.
Character Spotlight: Bluefen
Bluefen the ferret was the daughter of Bowfleg the Warlord and wife of Swartt Sixclaw, “the Pitiless One”. A quiet and obedient female, Bluefen was known to swiftly tend to her husband’s needs, though she gave him an extremely generous berth as much as she could manage. She carried and birthed a son, Veil Sixclaw, during one of the harshest winters the southern lands had ever experienced; it seemed as though the labor took a toll on Bluefen, as she faded from life not long after giving birth.
Bluefen’s past before she became Swartt’s wife is largely unknown. As mentioned previously, she was the daughter of Bowfleg the Warlord, an obese ferret who oversaw a vermin horde based in a swath of land northeast of Mossflower Woods. It is logical to assume that Bowfleg did not father any sons, since Swartt’s assumption of power after Bowfleg’s death was not challenged outright by a possible heir. Nothing is known of Bluefen’s mother, either, though the story mayhaps would be shameful to hear. It is no secret that Bowfleg had a massive girth, which calls into question his ability to father a child. Nevertheless, at some point in his life he coupled with a female of his race, and the result was Bluefen.
As a matter of course, Bluefen was forced to marry Swartt Sixclaw. The tradition and unwritten law of the horde stated that Bowfleg’s daughter was to wed the new Warlord. Described as “quiet” and “pretty”, it is doubtful that Bluefen objected to the arrangement, though there is no telling if Swartt attempted to get out of the commitment. To some degree, it would be fair to say that Bluefen was wise, as she minded the unpredictable moods of her husband and largely kept out of his way. This pegs her as surprisingly unambitious for a ferret; she did not seek to further her own whims by controlling or otherwise cajoling Swartt into doing certain things her own way. Her attitude in that manner played into Swartt’s behavior, since the warlord completely neglected her. In fact, there is not a single line of recorded dialogue between them in the entirety of Outcast of Redwall, not to mention he barely acknowledged her existence and he did not grieve for her death. By all appearances, Bluefen served her husband and his captains food and drink, minded his tent, and bore his son… and that was all.
To an extent, it would be accurate to describe Bluefen as the textbook example of a “good housewife.” She made sure Swartt’s physical needs were taken care of, never spoke, never complained, never interfered with his work, and bore him a son. However, it wouldn’t be entirely fair to leave the description at that. It is mentioned that Bluefen avoided Swartt mostly because she learned of the unpredictable temper of warlords from her father. Was Bowfleg cruel to her? Did she ever become subject to his anger or rage? It is likely that the answers to those questions would shed some light on her behavior as Swartt’s wife. It is highly unusual for her to have shown absolutely no interest whatsoever in the plans of her husband, yet her actions are inconsistent with a vermin who is only interested in self-preservation. If such was the case, she would not have concerned herself with serving Swartt and meeting his needs. She is also physically weak, having never shown a tendency for violence or the resilience to bounce back from labor (though the winter may have had an effect on her death). Based on her character, it is possible that Bluefen may qualify as one of the vermin who breaks the Redwall race stereotype.